Mama's Maze: Navigating the Twists and Turns of Godly Motherhood

Well, Elmo is dead. Gone to Toys R Us heaven. We have had Elmo since my firstborn was just a few months old. It was probably one of the most annoying toys, but its matted, dingy red fur brought joy to all three of our boys. Well last weekend, he met his maker at the hands of our baby boy Joshua (or as we like to call him, Baby Hulk). Elmo was drowned in either sink or toilet water. We have no idea which one. His once loud, vibrant voice has now been silenced for all of eternity.
Joshua is quickly approaching the "troublesome threes" and seems to want to exit his "terrible twos" in grand fashion. He has been into EVERYTHING! I have gone through this twice before and I didn’t think he could do anything to top his brothers. But (as he so often does) he proved me wrong.
Raising toddlers can sometimes feel like the equivalent of a scene from the movie Gremlins. They start off cute and cuddly like Gizmo and the next thing you know there is chaos and mayhem all around. …

Several months ago, I awoke to the sounds of two bickering boys. Jay and Trent were accusing each other of being mean to the other. Then, as expected, one of the boys approached our bedroom door ready to present his allegation of why the other one was being mean. Well, since I was still in a fog from having just woke up, I didn’t fully address it at that moment. Frankly, I am not a morning person and it was too early to be an adult. I managed somehow, to get them all (including the 2 year old) to calm down enough to go downstairs for breakfast. The bickering and side remarks were still going on. At some point, it became too much for me and I talked to them about how they were treating each other. I went on to explain how this is not how brothers should treat each other and asked them if they thought this pleased God. Of course, I get a resounding "No".
A few minutes pass by and I notice Jay is nowhere to be found. Lately, when he is upset about something he has been going …

My dearest Jason,
Today we are celebrating your 8th birthday as well as Mother's Day. I am so thankful that God has allowed me to be your mother. Your arrival into this world changed the course of my life and I am forever grateful.
Jason, ever since you were born you have brought joy to the lives of the many people you have come into contact with. You light up the room with your smile. You are a very loving individual and it shows through your interactions with your peers and your family. You are full of surprises. Your dad and I are constantly amazed by the many gifts and talents that are working inside of you and we cannot wait to see them exhibited throughout your life.
I often reflect on the day you were born and how we were so nervous and excited. Our first child, the one we had been praying for, was finally ready to make his debut. I remember crying when I heard your first little cry.I was crying because God was fulfilling a promise he had made to us. You, my son, were an a…

My dearest Trent,
Today is your 6th birthday and I am so grateful that we are able to share it with you. You are a very special little boy and I thank God for blessing us with you. I wanted to write a letter just to show you how much you are loved.
Trent, I am sure it can be hard being the middle child sometimes. But please understand that God's timing for your entrance into this world was just right. I remember when I found out you were on the way. It was quite a surprise even though we had prayed to have another child someday. The look on your dad's face was priceless. (I have video footage if you ever want to see it!) A few months later, you made your debut in dramatic fashion. That day was a day that your dad and I will never forget.  It was the day that we weren't sure if I was going to make it through your birth. You had decided to come early with no warning at all. I was in a LOT of pain! I can remember laying on that table screaming and crying because something wa…

I can remember growing up wishing that I had a sister. Yes, I had my brother, but there was only so much he could understand as a male. And with us being 7 1/2 years apart, we didn’t have a whole lot in common. When I was really small, I was so desperate to have a sister, I would pretend that Janet Jackson was my sister! Ha! Although I was young, I longed for someone to talk to that could understand me and just be my friend.  Well, unfortunately mom and dad never had any more kids, so that was it. No sisters for me--at least not biologically.
However, over the years, I have come to realize that God had a different plan for me. He brought several sisters into my life at various points to fill that empty spot in my heart. Some were only in my life for a season and others are still very much a part of my life today. And as time has gone on, I have come to appreciate what real sisterhood looks like.
As women and as mothers we often need those "sister" relationships. These are t…

My dearest Joshua,
Today, we celebrate your second birthday. I thought it would be a good idea to write you a letter. I know you won't remember much about this day, but this is a really special day and I want you to always know that on this day we honored you.
Over the last few days, as we anticipated this day, many thoughts crossed my mind. It was on my heart to share with you just how special you are and how grateful we are for your presence. I think back to when I first found out we were expecting you. I was shocked needless to say. You were a total surprise…a pleasant one. I was a bit overwhelmed at first because I wasn’t sure how we would handle three kids. I was scared because I had such a traumatic experience during and after the birth of your brother Trent. I was worried because your brother Jason had challenges and I did not want that for your life. But after filtering through all of those feelings, I found myself back in a place of hope. I became hopeful because I knew …