Lately, God had been placing on my heart to share my story of how I became a mother. So this will end up being a two-part blog.
First, let me say that every one's motherhood story is different and the way God chose to work in my life may not be necessarily how he works in yours. However, two things remain the same-- God is always in control and he never makes a mistake.
About a year and a half into our marriage, the desire to have children became very great and we decided we would not wait the five years we originally planned to start our family. So we began trying for children. Six months went by and nothing. My doctor could not understand why we had not been able to conceive seeing as though we were relatively healthy young people. Being the proactive doctor that she was, she started running tests to see if there was something in the way of our conceiving a child.
I remember the day we got the news from our doctor that there was indeed something not quite right. At the time they could not be for sure, but it appeared that one of the Fallopian tubes (or possibly both) was blocked. She broke the news to us that it was a great possibility that we may not be able to conceive. I was heartbroken and the look of sadness in her eyes only confirmed what I felt. I had so much love inside that I wanted to share with my child. The thought of not being able to do that was painful.
There were so many thoughts that ran through my head. What did I do wrong in my life to deserve this? Why me? I felt like I was incomplete.
That day the doctor sat down with us and talked about a plan going forward. One of the first steps was a visit to a fertility doctor. She recommended a local doctor who had been successful in helping his patients become parents. We were ready to get this thing rolling. Or so we thought.
Upon meeting this new doctor, we found him to be very cold and pushy. It was established that I would need to have some minor surgery to unblock my Fallopian tubes (remember at this time no one actually knew if that was the problem or not). He kept pushing us on having the surgery--really not giving us much choice at all. And all he really wanted to talk about was IVF (which was something we didn't really have a desire to do). We didn't have a good feeling about this doctor at all. If this guy was graded on his bedside manner, he would fail with flying colors. But we were so desperate to find out what was wrong and begin our family, we ignored our gut feeling.
We eventually set a date for October 17, 2008. However, there was still a bit of doubt about this decision lingering in both my and my husbands head. We continued to pray about the surgery and the infertility issues as the days rolled on. As the surgery date got closer, I thought it may be a good idea to have some blood work done at my regular OB/GYN doctor's office just to make sure I wasn't pregnant before going into this procedure. But I was afraid of being disappointed again. That day, at my desk at work, the Lord spoke to me. He said "Do you trust me?"That's when I left to go to the doctors office and take the test.
That evening I awaited the results of the test. However, I never received a phone call. The next day was my pre-op appointment with the fertility doctor. I was really hoping to hear the results of my blood test before I left work but still, no phone call.
As my husband and I drove into the parking lot of the fertility doctor, my phone rings. It was my OB/GYN calling with the results. All I remember hearing is "Your test is positive!" I was in complete shock. Pregnant?? A look of pure joy rushed over my husband's face. We knew we had to go into this doctor's office and tell him just what had happened. But the doctor's response and the events that followed over the next couple of weeks was far from what we expected.
Part 2 Coming soon!
|Jason, Jr at almost 2 weeks old!