When I last wrote,
my husband and I had just found out that I was pregnant moments before we were
to see the doctor about my upcoming surgery.
We walked into that
fertility doctor's office with the biggest smiles on our faces. It had been a
while since we had experienced this type of joy. They called us back into the
doctor's office and immediately we told him what had just happened. But his response
was not at all what we expected. With as much coldness as you could imagine, he said in so many words,
"it doesn't matter. This pregnancy isn't viable. You still need to have
this surgery." I couldn't believe my ears. He still wanted to do the
surgery! At that point I knew we needed to get as far away from this doctor as
we possibly could. Even if this pregnancy did not make it, his approach to us
was very frigid and insensitive.
Our hearts
sank! We told him we were still going to
wait and see what happens. We left that office with a determination to never
see this guy ever again.
As the next few days
went on, my regular doctor had me come in for blood tests every other day. My
hormone levels had been low and they were not increasing at the rate they
should have. It was hard hearing the news that this pregnancy would most likely
end in a miscarriage. And then on a
Friday, it happened. I miscarried. Another disappointment. Another failure, so
I thought.
The doctors called
it a chemical pregnancy. A chemical pregnancy is a miscarriage that occurs
around week 4 or 5, before an ultrasound can show a gestational sac. It's
actually pretty common and many women don't even know they have had a
miscarriage because it happened so early.
I cried everyday and
my husband tried to console me as best he could, but at that point there was
nothing he could say. I was at my
weakest. We had told several people
about our pregnancy and now we had to "un-tell" them. That was hard.
Feelings of shame and defeat flooded my soul.
A few months passed
and the healing process was still ongoing. I wasn't sure if I would ever be
ready to try again. But I continued to meditate on scripture and pray a lot
during this time. One of my favorite
verses that I remember reading was James 1:2,3 (NASB):
2 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you
encounter various trials, 3 knowing
that the testing of your faith produces endurance.
Considering "it
all joy" was easier said than done,
but I held on to that verse anyway. It was just the word I needed. This was
indeed going to be a journey of faith that would require me to patiently wait
on God.
Around March of the
following year, God spoke to my husband through a dream. In this dream he saw a
card flash before him. There were two names on it: Jeremiah and Seth. There
were other words on the card but they were blurred out so that he couldn't see
what they said. We talked the next day
about it and we knew what "Jeremiah" meant (it related to another
situation my husband was dealing with), but we had no clue what
"Seth" meant. So I did a little research. We learned that Seth was
the third son of Adam and Eve who God gave them to replace Abel. (Gen. 4:25)
His name comes from a Hebrew word meaning "substitute". It was then that we realized what God was
saying to us: He would give us a son in compensation for the baby we lost. Our hearts were encouraged and we decided it
was time to try again.
May of the following
year, my doctor sent me to another fertility specialist. I specifically requested this doctor after
talking with co-workers who he had successfully helped become parents. The
initial meeting with him was a far cry from the previous specialist. I remember one of the things he told us in
our consult. He said that we were going to look all the possible factors of
what was causing my infertility, but
nothing would happen until God was ready
to touch my belly. After that
conversation, we knew immediately that he was the right doctor for us.
Over the next couple months, we would proceed
to get my body prepared for having a baby. I lost almost 20 lbs that summer and
in June I finally had the surgery that I needed to have. When he did the procedure, he found that my
Fallopian tube, ovary, and colon had fused together from scar tissue that
resulted from an appendectomy I had as a child. He also found endometriosis.
That surgery ended with the doctor having to remove one Fallopian tube and an
ovary.
A couple months went
by and still no baby. At this point, the doctor said we would try fertility
drugs the next time around. Well, we
really didn't want to have go that route. All I could think of was that I did
not want to be the next Octomom! So we prayed about it.
The time had come
for us to begin fertility drugs. Knowing
this, I thought I should just take a home pregnancy test to be on the safe
side. I woke up one morning and went into the bathroom to take the test. A few
minutes later I was running out of the bathroom screaming "We're
pregnant!!" My husband sat up in bed immediately. His smile was wider than
I had ever seen before. God had answered our prayer. Little Jason was on his
way!!!
When I look back
over our story, I am reminded of how God's timing is always perfect. I see his
hand in everything that took place-- from how he kept us from being in the
hands of that doctor to blessing us to become pregnant just days before we
would start fertility drugs. I am also
reminded of the grace and mercy he showed us. Many times we were about to step
out ahead of what He had for us, but he blocked it. And boy, did he block it! When I thought God wasn’t listening, I now
know that he was. He was there carrying me the whole time. I am emotional just
thinking about it. Nobody but God could have done this for my husband and me.
Writing this blog
post has been uplifting for me and I hope that it encourages you as well. Your issue
may not be infertility, but whatever it is, I am a witness to what God can do
in impossible situations. Hold fast to the promises that he is spoken in his Word.
8 It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with
you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be
dismayed." - Deuteronomy 31:8 (ESV)
Just a few days old!
Daughter, when God did that for you guys, He wants you to remember that He is the same God today, that He was yesterday and His power never fails. As the word says in 2Cor.5:7 " for we walk by faith not by sight." This word will work in every situation. I'm so proud of you and how you've grown. Love yourmomma.
ReplyDeleteThat's such an uplifting story, Bree. Thanks for sharing! I remember when y'all were going through some of those issues, and I'm so happy that every thing worked out for the positive in the end.
ReplyDeleteMy partner likes to say, "A person can't escape her/his destiny." Just like you and Jason were destined to be together (awwwwww!!! lol!), your two lovely boys were also destines to be in your lives and you in theirs. It really is a wonderful blessing.
And WOW about the appendectomy resulting in the fertility issues! Didn't realize that could happen. I remember when you had that surgery back in the day. So many of us were missing you at school! :-D
Bree, what an encouraging story. You guys are beautiful people and God always takes care of His people. He is the same God yesterday, today and forever. This is a story of hope indeed!
ReplyDeleteIt goes to show that God is a restorer. Even the dream that Jason had with the name 'Seth' wow!!!! I love it when God speaks in that way. It's incredible. If he did it before he can do it again! Staying on the wall for you...Love Auntie Judy