Life has been quite
busy lately at the Crowe's Nest. My precious first born, Jay, started
Kindergarten this month. I knew the time was coming, but it seems as though it
has gotten here all too fast. For the past couple of weeks, I have experienced every emotion you could
expect from a mom who's child is going to Kindergarten. And I think Jay has experienced every emotion
you could possibly expect from a five-year old who is attached to his mother.
Tuesday was his
second full day of school. From the
moment his feet hit the ground, the
morning drama ensued. He immediately began complaining of not wanting to go to
school. Because Jay has autism, it is sometimes hard for him to communicate
exactly what he wants to say. Well, not on this morning. He did not want to go and
he made his feelings known.
Now this attitude is
nothing new to us, but somehow this week it struck at my mommy heartstrings.
Part of me wanted to say, "You don't have to go, sweetie. Stay with me
forever!" But that feeling disappeared quickly.
Before we left the
house, I told him that we were going to pray—something we try and do every
morning before school. So I asked him to pray first. Well what followed was
typical Jason, Jr. I don't recall every
word he said, but it was what I like to call his "revenge
prayer". I heard him telling God
something about "bless mommy to not send me to school". He continued to complain and whine about
school and "tell on me" to God during his prayer. Finally he ended it
saying "In Jesus name, Amen". His dad and I just shook our heads and
continued with a "reverse-revenge" prayer.
Although it was
pretty funny at the time, I started thinking about my own prayer life over the
years. How many times over my life had I
prayed a "revenge" prayer because I didn't like what someone did or said
to me? Maybe I didn't like what my husband said and I just wanted God to
"get him". How many prayers have I prayed that were just nothing but
complaints and discontentment—never asking God to help me see Him in my
situation? A lot, I am sure.
Jesus gives us a
wonderful example of how to pray through what we know as the Lord's Prayer
(Matt. 6:9-13). Through prayer, we can take those complaints and bitter
feelings and lay them at the foot of Jesus knowing that His will, not ours,
will be done. Verse 12, in particular,
sticks out to me:
And forgive us our
debts, as we forgive our debtors. (KJV)
Forgiving those who
have sinned against us is essential. This is the difference between a
"revenge prayer" and "real prayer". By forgiving the person, we can now pray for
them with a clear heart. Prayer should be a
time to bring our requests to God in humility, recognizing that we too need
forgiveness. Verses 14 and 15
continue on to say:
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your
heavenly Father will also forgive you,
15 but if you do not forgive others their
trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (ESV)
So let this be a reminder, that we must examine our hearts when we enter into our time of prayer.
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His first night of homework. |
Bree, as your mom I want you to know that I can see your relationship getting deeper with the Lord. I love the way God is using you and your family's life to get his message out. He lets us see Him through the eyes of a loving mother, as she nurtures her children daily. I thank God for you being a Spiritual Mother.
ReplyDeleteThat's beautiful. :-) He's too cute sitting at that desk!
ReplyDeleteI had to laugh at the part about wanting to tell him to stay with you forever but the feeling disappearing quickly. I'm with mine all day everyday and can hardly imagine it being any other way. But when her daddy takes her out for a walk and I actually have some time alone, I feel so free and wanna dance a jig.
(but after about 10 minutes I'm anxious for her to come back…cause I have no idea what to do with myself!)
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