Vengeance is Mine, Saith the Kindergartner!

Life has been quite busy lately at the Crowe's Nest. My precious first born, Jay, started Kindergarten this month. I knew the time was coming, but it seems as though it has gotten here all too fast. For the past couple of weeks,  I have experienced every emotion you could expect from a mom who's child is going to Kindergarten.  And I think Jay has experienced every emotion you could possibly expect from a five-year old who is attached to his mother.

Tuesday was his second full day of school.  From the moment his feet hit the ground,  the morning drama ensued. He immediately began complaining of not wanting to go to school. Because Jay has autism, it is sometimes hard for him to communicate exactly what he wants to say. Well, not on this morning. He did not want to go and he made his feelings known.

Now this attitude is nothing new to us, but somehow this week it struck at my mommy heartstrings. Part of me wanted to say, "You don't have to go, sweetie. Stay with me forever!" But that feeling disappeared quickly.

Before we left the house, I told him that we were going to pray—something we try and do every morning before school. So I asked him to pray first. Well what followed was typical Jason, Jr.  I don't recall every word he said, but it was what I like to call his "revenge prayer".  I heard him telling God something about "bless mommy to not send me to school".  He continued to complain and whine about school and "tell on me" to God during his prayer. Finally he ended it saying "In Jesus name, Amen". His dad and I just shook our heads and continued with a "reverse-revenge" prayer.

Although it was pretty funny at the time, I started thinking about my own prayer life over the years.  How many times over my life had I prayed a "revenge" prayer because I didn't like what someone did or said to me? Maybe I didn't like what my husband said and I just wanted God to "get him". How many prayers have I prayed that were just nothing but complaints and discontentment—never asking God to help me see Him in my situation? A lot, I am sure.

Jesus gives us a wonderful example of how to pray through what we know as the Lord's Prayer (Matt. 6:9-13). Through prayer, we can take those complaints and bitter feelings and lay them at the foot of Jesus knowing that His will, not ours, will be done.  Verse 12, in particular, sticks out to me:

And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. (KJV)

Forgiving those who have sinned against us is essential. This is the difference between a "revenge prayer" and "real prayer".  By forgiving the person, we can now pray for them with a clear heart. Prayer should be a time to bring our requests to God in humility, recognizing that we too need forgiveness. Verses 14 and 15 continue on to say:

 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 

15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (ESV)

 So let this be a reminder, that we must examine our hearts when we enter into our time of prayer.

His first night of homework.